SILENT MUSING: 2017 OF THE GOOD? BAD AND UGLY...

While I was writing my goodbye letter to 2017.

SILENT MUSING:  2017 OF THE GOOD? BAD AND UGLY…

Dear 2017,

Amidst the chaos which enveloped the latter part of your immediate elder brother’s stay with me, I wrapped it up with elements of laughter. From the heart. I envisaged to celebrate your coming of age than I did last year, lo and behold, I can’t explain why this pensiveness. 

I welcomed your birth with so much joy and excitement. Your arrival wrapped my entire being with very warm hope. I smiled on that beautiful morning of January 1 when you sashayed into my arms at exactly 12AM. You let out colorful butterflies into my stomach, then with my eyes closed, we locked in such warm embrace, while I kissed your forehead, I named you Efetobore. Wealth has arrived. 

Sweetheart, was it of our own making or did someone cast evil eyes on us before the real love journey began? 

Battles after battles.

Whirlwinds after hurricanes.

Floods.

Obim, our elders, ancestors and even Chi say names are messengers. So, I began the shopping and preparation of your name in earnest. I swear, I did. Was our Chi on a very long journey that January 1 when I named you Efetobore? He obviously didn’t say isseeeee, lest the messages of wealth would have been delivered.

Haa!  I was broker than I have ever been and experienced such untold and never fathomed life threatening helplessness. I have had to process so much uncertainty like never before. I also processed potpourri of illnesses, frustrations and at some point, throwing in the towel. Our love story was full of me sitting alone by and with myself, while you watched me struggle not to get drowned. 

Why Obim? 

Honestly, it’s been a very bumpy ride with you, honey. I still don’t have all my questions answered. However, as you embark on the journey-of-no-return, again, I have so much peace overflowing in me. Could it be a second chance? A gifted new dawn?

You weren’t an ugly lover. In our anxiety-filled-love-tango, I yet birthed many babies and nursing them my own way. And I’m presently pregnant with more. The battles were enormous but so were the victories. I finally found closure exactly a year after my bittersweet union died all of a sudden, leaving me with horrendous scars. The whirlwinds, hurricanes and floods have produced a stronger and better me. Of course, helped me to see people for what they really are. 

I won’t wait for your younger brother’s arrival before living life again. And the way I want to. No more will I procrastinate. I won’t put my dreams and joy on hold anymore. Even before Aghogho- your younger brother’s, arrival, I will be happy, reach out to people more than ever, wear some makeup more often, travel farther and wider, and utilize my talents more. They will yield me a fair fortune. 

Sweetie, it’s been great knowing you. I’m so  glad our paths crossed and we did our best to make it work. I have no power to make you stay. But if I did, I won’t let you remain. Now, I’m overwhelmed with strength to live again and to the fullest. I have such peace and joy, I can’t explain. 

My love, thanks for the time shared and memories. As you leave, I live. And I have such  immense gratitude and appreciation for another chance to  be alive and love. I am here today. And will be tomorrow. 

With So Much Love,

Tobore Mit Ovuorie, 

December 28th, 2017, 9.26AM.